1- Sometime around Easter I was backing up into my parking space and heard a crunching sound. I got out, looked at the ground under my tire, and saw a 6 inch metal cross with a broken Jesus.
2- During my bro's wedding in little Russia, a transvestite broke onto the dance floor, grabbed the mic, and started singing I Will Survive.
3- I've never been on a roller coaster.
4- I recently got cut off by a student driving instructor.
5- I spent the past week in a psychiatric hospital. It was part of my internship rotation.
6- I eat a lot of bacon and butter.
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