M recently had a student hand in a paper about rap music. She referred to one rapper in particular and wrote "he rapped his way across Brooklyn like a madman in the early 90's". Except she spelled rapped with one p, over and over again throughout the entire 6-page paper. Classic.
This is the blog I wish I could write: fuckyoupenguin
(No picture for you)
Monday, April 13, 2009
Thursday, April 02, 2009
In pahked, and warm
I spent 30 minutes today explaining to a father why his 10 year old should not eat cheese puffs and canned soup all day everyday. I spend my days in awe over things like this.
I'm down on the MIA today. I can't stand the heat already. It's April. This is a bad sign. And so to fight this brewing hatred, I shall list all things that are lovely about living in the MIA:
1. I have discovered that all of my sweat glands are in working order.
2. I find my desire for ice water outweighs my painful sensitivity to ice water.
3. I'm really getting good at running red lights.
4. I'm almost comforted by the confused response I get from my neighbors when I say hello in the elevator.
5. The silverfish are getting bigger and therefore slower and easier to kill.
6. I can say "Lo siento, no hablo Espanol" so quickly, and with such a good accent that people have started asking me if I'm sure.
I just found a silverfish in the silverware drawer. That was funny.
(not a vegetable)
I'm down on the MIA today. I can't stand the heat already. It's April. This is a bad sign. And so to fight this brewing hatred, I shall list all things that are lovely about living in the MIA:
1. I have discovered that all of my sweat glands are in working order.
2. I find my desire for ice water outweighs my painful sensitivity to ice water.
3. I'm really getting good at running red lights.
4. I'm almost comforted by the confused response I get from my neighbors when I say hello in the elevator.
5. The silverfish are getting bigger and therefore slower and easier to kill.
6. I can say "Lo siento, no hablo Espanol" so quickly, and with such a good accent that people have started asking me if I'm sure.
I just found a silverfish in the silverware drawer. That was funny.
(not a vegetable)
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Oy is old
I have a cold, a stiff neck, a partially thrown out back, and I need a root canal. I am falling apart 2 months shy of my 30th bday. wtf?
In other new, MIA is hot again and it looks like we'll be here for at least another year thanks to the shitty economy and lack of job prospects for big M. I hopefully won't be fired from my job in the coming year. As long as they don't realize I don't know what I'm doing, I'll be ok.
In lovely news, I just had a fabulous trip to NY and NH/ME. What did I do you're wondering?
1. Flew to NY on Fri the 13th and didn't die. Awesome.
2. Hung out in the Rock with the parents and fluffy bichon for the weekend.
3. Drove to NH/ME and stayed with N, the greatest hostess ever.
4. Ate too many GF goodies including pizza, sandwich, chocolate-raspberry ganash cupcake!
5. Hung out with some of my favorite New England people.
6. Met my beautiful niece.
7. Didn't get to see anyone in NY except my family (boo).
8. Flew home sitting next to a man with a cold.
(I survived)
In other new, MIA is hot again and it looks like we'll be here for at least another year thanks to the shitty economy and lack of job prospects for big M. I hopefully won't be fired from my job in the coming year. As long as they don't realize I don't know what I'm doing, I'll be ok.
In lovely news, I just had a fabulous trip to NY and NH/ME. What did I do you're wondering?
1. Flew to NY on Fri the 13th and didn't die. Awesome.
2. Hung out in the Rock with the parents and fluffy bichon for the weekend.
3. Drove to NH/ME and stayed with N, the greatest hostess ever.
4. Ate too many GF goodies including pizza, sandwich, chocolate-raspberry ganash cupcake!
5. Hung out with some of my favorite New England people.
6. Met my beautiful niece.
7. Didn't get to see anyone in NY except my family (boo).
8. Flew home sitting next to a man with a cold.
(I survived)
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Plazshe weekend
Little Z is lovely and healthy. I finally have pictures, but I'm not going to post them, given this whole anonymity theme I've got going on with my blog. I'm so mysterious.
Here's my weekend list for y'all:
1. A! came to visit!!!! (I'm using the extra exclamation points just for her, given her love of US Magazine).
2. We went to the beach a lot. We went to one that was experiencing a Portuguese Man o' War explosion.
3. We went to Jimbo's. To best explain Jimbo's, I'm going to quote my "Time Out Miami" book:
"Owned by Jimbo Luznar, the 'friendliest man on earth', this is hands down the most difficult to find- and even more difficult to describe- watering hole in Miami. It started as a gathering spot for shrimping trawlers and has since mutated into a combination of bocce court, fish-smoking oven, haunt for filthy stray cats, and a dollar-a-can beer-drinking hangout. Adjacent is a tropical lagoon where Flipper was filmed, as well as a collection of vacant faux-Bahamian shacks that have been rented out for hundreds of photo, TV and movie shoots, from Miami Vice to True Lies. The term 'bar' doesn't begin to do this place justice. Precious few south Florida attractions can compete with the simple pleasure of sipping beer on Jimbo's dock while watching manatees loll in the lagoon."
4. At the aforementioned Jimbo's, A! got serenaded by a harmonica-playing man. It went something like this: "I love those big breasted women. They are so big cause she's healthy". Surprisingly no song was written about my womanly parts.
5. We had kick-ass Cuban food in Little Havana. M had a pork hangover for 2 days.
6. We successfully avoided South Beach all weekend long.
7. We ate fish tacos and played an awesome game of Beyond Balderdash. I won.
All in all, another awesome weekend.
(Don't tread on me)
Here's my weekend list for y'all:
1. A! came to visit!!!! (I'm using the extra exclamation points just for her, given her love of US Magazine).
2. We went to the beach a lot. We went to one that was experiencing a Portuguese Man o' War explosion.
3. We went to Jimbo's. To best explain Jimbo's, I'm going to quote my "Time Out Miami" book:
"Owned by Jimbo Luznar, the 'friendliest man on earth', this is hands down the most difficult to find- and even more difficult to describe- watering hole in Miami. It started as a gathering spot for shrimping trawlers and has since mutated into a combination of bocce court, fish-smoking oven, haunt for filthy stray cats, and a dollar-a-can beer-drinking hangout. Adjacent is a tropical lagoon where Flipper was filmed, as well as a collection of vacant faux-Bahamian shacks that have been rented out for hundreds of photo, TV and movie shoots, from Miami Vice to True Lies. The term 'bar' doesn't begin to do this place justice. Precious few south Florida attractions can compete with the simple pleasure of sipping beer on Jimbo's dock while watching manatees loll in the lagoon."
4. At the aforementioned Jimbo's, A! got serenaded by a harmonica-playing man. It went something like this: "I love those big breasted women. They are so big cause she's healthy". Surprisingly no song was written about my womanly parts.
5. We had kick-ass Cuban food in Little Havana. M had a pork hangover for 2 days.
6. We successfully avoided South Beach all weekend long.
7. We ate fish tacos and played an awesome game of Beyond Balderdash. I won.
All in all, another awesome weekend.
(Don't tread on me)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Tante!
I am an aunt. Welcome Z! One day my family will learn how to upload pictures, and on that day, I can see what you look like.
(Not my niece)
(Not my niece)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
'Oy' went to church
in Lancaster, PA.
It was a mega church.
MEGA, as in 6000 parishioners.
It was more entertaining than I had expected.
There was a rock band.
The preacher wore jeans.
The preacher used props including a doll house and dolls and doll furniture.
There were video screens.
I actually was enjoying the sermon until he said that marriage is between a man and a woman. Then I zoned out.
Other things I did in Lancaster, PA:
Surprised one of my favorite ladies for her 30th.
Was treated to a spa day.
Saw Amish people on horse and buggy.
Went to H&M. Yay H&M.
Spent Valentine's night listening to a coffee shop band play sad songs.
Danced with a 2-year old.
Danced in the snow!
Sat next to an awesome old dude on the plane ride home who practiced Spanish with me.
All in all, an awesome weekend.
What did you do?
(Does not go to mega church)
It was a mega church.
MEGA, as in 6000 parishioners.
It was more entertaining than I had expected.
There was a rock band.
The preacher wore jeans.
The preacher used props including a doll house and dolls and doll furniture.
There were video screens.
I actually was enjoying the sermon until he said that marriage is between a man and a woman. Then I zoned out.
Other things I did in Lancaster, PA:
Surprised one of my favorite ladies for her 30th.
Was treated to a spa day.
Saw Amish people on horse and buggy.
Went to H&M. Yay H&M.
Spent Valentine's night listening to a coffee shop band play sad songs.
Danced with a 2-year old.
Danced in the snow!
Sat next to an awesome old dude on the plane ride home who practiced Spanish with me.
All in all, an awesome weekend.
What did you do?
(Does not go to mega church)
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Grizhen
This weekend I:
1. Went to a cool park in the middle of North Miami Beach.
2. Walked through the park and came upon a homeless man peeing facing the trail.
3. Saw a swimming iguana which M thought was a mini alligator. It was an iguana.
4. Saw a family of raccoons (mama and 4 babies) run across the trail in broad daylight and climb up a palm tree. I was hoping to see them nibble on a coconut, but I couldn't see them at the top.
5. Saw, from a distance, what looked like two giant tarantulas on the trail. Got closer and realized they were indeed two giant black and furry FAKE tarantulas. There were children nearby, so that probably explains it. But it was pretty frickin' trippy.
6. Did not see any parrots, real or fake.
7. Hung out with some ladies, drank some alcohol, and played video games. Then we somehow wound up taking in a cute and fluffy stray cat.
8. Slept really well.
9. Clipped coupons for the first time ever and saved $25 at the market.
10. Went to a dinner party and ate prosciutto wrapped arugula and asparagus.
11. Started the 3rd season of The Wire. So much better than the 2nd.
12. Developed film from 2 years ago. All the pictures were boring.
What did you do?
(Not an iguana)
1. Went to a cool park in the middle of North Miami Beach.
2. Walked through the park and came upon a homeless man peeing facing the trail.
3. Saw a swimming iguana which M thought was a mini alligator. It was an iguana.
4. Saw a family of raccoons (mama and 4 babies) run across the trail in broad daylight and climb up a palm tree. I was hoping to see them nibble on a coconut, but I couldn't see them at the top.
5. Saw, from a distance, what looked like two giant tarantulas on the trail. Got closer and realized they were indeed two giant black and furry FAKE tarantulas. There were children nearby, so that probably explains it. But it was pretty frickin' trippy.
6. Did not see any parrots, real or fake.
7. Hung out with some ladies, drank some alcohol, and played video games. Then we somehow wound up taking in a cute and fluffy stray cat.
8. Slept really well.
9. Clipped coupons for the first time ever and saved $25 at the market.
10. Went to a dinner party and ate prosciutto wrapped arugula and asparagus.
11. Started the 3rd season of The Wire. So much better than the 2nd.
12. Developed film from 2 years ago. All the pictures were boring.
What did you do?
(Not an iguana)
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